Lessons My Mother Taught Me: How To Age in Reverse, Part 2

A bounty of beautiful hair is extremely youthful and increasingly rare as we age. Thin, fine, scraggly hair becomes an unpleasant eventuality as women (and men) mature, and it’s no doubt an aging characteristic. My mother, however, has *the* most enviable hair. In fact, everywhere we go, someone feels compelled to comment on her bouncy, shiny locks which cascade around her face in soft curls. In addition to the shine factor and the flattering curl pattern, she has lots and lots of hair and it’s in great condition. Many crucial lessons about hair I’ve learned from my mother. I’m sharing them with you today.

Lesson 1: Always invest in the best shampoo you can afford. Okay, here’s the deal, and you’ve heard the familiar refrain: you get what you pay for. And I’m not going to lie to you–many of the commercial shampoos, even “salon” brands that are purported to be used by the elite, are not much better than ordinary dish soap. They can destroy your hair, leaving it brittle like straw; tangly, which leads to split ends; and flyaway and unmanageable. I’m going to share with you the products I use. But remember, if they are too pricey for your budget, just do what you can and invest in the best your budget will allow, or get in the kitchen and whip up some homemade preparations at a fraction of the cost.

Philip B. makes a great line of products that are extremely user-friendly and gentle on the hair. The entire line works together to give you your very best hair, but it is super luxe and, therefore, super pricey. After all, the shampoo that I use, above, is 90 bucks. But hear me out: regular shampoos, even celebrity brands like Pantene, will strip your color and leave your hair parched and thirsty. The proper shampoo is critical to keeping your hair healthy and glistening, especially as you grow it longer.

I’ll give you some home remedies for less expensive alternatives to store-bought beauty, but your shampoo should be of the utmost quality, and therefore, will probably be the most expensive product in your regime. So take it from me and invest in your shampoo. A quick note about shampooing: it’s really unnecessary to wash your hair every single day. It beats your ends to death and disrupts your scalp’s health. So, all I’m saying is, go easy. You might be able to afford a $90 shampoo if you wash less often. Just every other day, as opposed to every day, cuts your shampoo bill in half! If you can stretch your time out between washings a bit longer with creative hairstyles and accessories, even better!

Lesson 2: Incorporate a vinegar rinse into your regime. Every man woman and child should do this! It’s my favorite tip and a lesser known one. The common kitchen ingredient, apple cider vinegar, makes a spectacular finishing rinse to eliminate any residue post-shampoo and restore the pH balance of the scalp, all while imparting the most glorious sheen that will leave your hair glistening! It’s a healthy habit. I use Philip B.’s Detangling Toning Mist, which I do *not* leave in my hair. Please always rinse your vinegar extremely thoroughly as it can damage the hair and leech out the rich color. Follow the vinegar rinse with your normal conditioner.

If you cannot afford the Philip B. vinegar rinse, I urge you to make your own. This is my recipe from childhood, before Philip B. was incepted back in the 1990s. Simply add one tablespooon apple cider vinegar to a full spray bottle of water and spray on your hair, after shampooing, concentrating on the roots. Rinse, rinse, and rinse some more! The mixture will give you a cleaner rinse and whisk away harsh detergents and mineral deposits that cause hair to be flat, dull or lackluster. And that’s a recipe straight from my mother’s beauty arsenal!

Lesson 3: Deep condition once a week with a hot oil treatment or a pre-shampoo conditioner. If you have any length at all you should be treating your hair with a pre-shampoo conditioning pack once a week. This can be a hot-oil treatment, a pre-shampoo creme, or, even, a home remedy that you whip up in the kitchen! Again, I am a big fan of the Phlip B. variety, and I buy it in the economy size, which is the best value but still quite expensive. You can create something comparable at home in your own kitchen by saturating your hair with regular olive oil and letting it penetrate for an hour or overnight. My mother used to insist on these weekly at-home treatments which are very easy and affordable. They will keep your hair shiny, healthy and strong and ward away splits in the hair shaft.

Lesson 4: Handle with care. Never tear your hair, never brush with aggression. When brushing, start at the ends and gently work your way up. Try not to sabotage your hair with abusive treatment or over-touching, which not only damages the hair, but leads to greasy roots. Really examine your patterns and be aware of how you’re handling your hair.

Lesson 5: Research your color options. Traditional color, with ammonia and peroxide, destroys the hair. Repeated use of conventional color will parch your hair and make it break off or even fall out entirely! Not a good look. I learned this trick from Cher in the early ’90s, as I have been prematurely grey since that time. A natural, vegetable rinse will provide great grey coverage without the damaging consequences! That’s right: zero damage, no developer necessary and suitable for all hair types. I use the Clairol Beautiful Collection in Rich Dark Brown.

Lesson 6: Fear the hairdresser. My mom drilled this into my head as a child, and for good reason! I recommend home hair color because, quite simply, most hairdressers do not know what tf they are doing when it comes to color. You have to have a great skill set to execute that perfect honey blonde, that ravishing red, or that not-brassy brunette beauty. That being said, I strongly recommend that you get the color down yourself. It’s really not as hard as it seems, and the self-reliance you will gain is invaluable. Coloring your own hair at home saves you heaps of time…..and money that could be spent on quality products instead.

Lesson 7: Jump on the hair-growth bandwagon! Like I said from the start, my mother has an enviable bounty of healthy hair. But that’s no accident. She feeds it with a good nutritional plan and the Nutrafol + Harklinikken duo. I wrote about this combo a few years ago and personally, I have gained tons of length and volume, in addition to lots of new growth. Again, these products are expensive, so prioritize your finances so that you can incorporate them into your regime if at all possible.

Lesson 8: Brush it good, with a good brush. Brushing thoroughly like my mom does, with your head flipped over, bent at the waist, encourages an invigorating blood flow to the scalp and loosens debris while distributing the natural oils along the hair shaft. Give it a good brushing. You’ve heard the old adage about brushing a hundred strokes a day. Really work it and scratch the scalp with the bristles vigorously.

Cheap brushes, with plastic or rubber bristles, or with the bristles that have little balls on the tips of them, are garbage hairbrushes that will shred your hair. Look for natural boar bristles or boar bristles mixed with nylon. Mason Pearson makes excellent brushes at a decent price point, but I prefer the grandest of brushes, this boar-bristled beauty, above, created by, you guessed it, Philip B.! Of course, this tempting tool comes with a formidable price tag. I recommend that you sign up for Philip B. emails and wait until Philip offers one of his 25% off sales to snag such an heirloom-quality hairbrush.

Lesson 9: Don’t fight Mother Nature. My mother wore a very chic Sassoon cut for many years. And, having naturally-curly hair, she fought with her hair every day to achieve that effect. Finally, after battling her hair texture for years, she relinquished control of her curls to reveal something much more appealing: a natural look involving less time, effort and damage to her hair. So whether you’re board straight or feeling kinky, my experience is that My Mother and Mother Nature know best! Thanks, Mom.