Close Encounters for the Valentine: Amorous Animals

Although spotting a lady can be rare nowadays, finding a good mate can be even harder.

Some things never change, and the animal world is no exception. “Animals practice the same sexual rituals we do,” said San Francisco zookeeper Jane Tollini. “We even have homosexual wallabies and lesbian penguins.”

Valentine’s Day, the universal day of love, is two weeks away. As a unique gift for animal-lovers, many zoos are celebrating the sentiment with a voyeuristic glimpse into the mating rituals of our feral friends.

The San Francisco Zoo presents Woo at the Zoo–where erotica meets exotica.

You get to watch a real-live sexual encounter, and Tollini will describe the copulation methods of both predators and prey, at a brunch or dinner event–your choice.

Penguins, she said, like to take their time, engaging in a month of foreplay; lions have sex up to 50 times a day and, while koala bears may seem soft and cuddly, they actually can do some serious damage in a quickie that lasts only 40 seconds.

“Koalas are nasty little creatures that don’t like each other very much,” Tollini said. “It’s a rolling, tumbling thing for them and you have to almost kick them apart or they will kill each other.”

Not surprisingly, rhinoceros foreplay, she said, is the most violent. It can leave the female with deep gashes before the animals lock together for an hour or more.

What a fun and creative way to spend the day with your love, watching and learning about basic animal behavior. It sure breaks up the monotony of ordinary mundane activities; although, I’m sure no one would turn down a thoughtful floral presentation or a box of chocolates.

“I’m Just Visiting The Zoo”
by Dramarama

And I haven’t got a dime
And I haven’t got the time
All the same I’m glad I came
I’m just visiting the zoo
Cuz it makes me think of you
Here’s hoping you can do the same…

Contact your local zoo for the ‘bill affair.’